every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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