I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
third nipple confirmed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
