Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
