For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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