I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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