what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
