but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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