I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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