You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
