so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
