After last night, I could never be a politician.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
