a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
