I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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