high people should be assigned attendants
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
