i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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