living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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