walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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