I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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