I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize