return my video game
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
