I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
