so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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