Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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