he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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