so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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