We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
