toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
