Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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