I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
