everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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