did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize