$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
