You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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