Tell her she can't have a vagina
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
