i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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