do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
