I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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