i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize