I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
