OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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