I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
