In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
im on a boat
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