just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
