C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
