Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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