how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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