ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
only if we run a train.
done.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
