Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
