dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
