I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize