I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
