shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
