I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
