We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
