you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
