my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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