Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
